Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Video Games

1. No matter how much planning you've done for your journey, you've always forgotten something. Be it a clean pair of underwear, extra ammo, or a key.

2. The easiest path is almost always blocked by red tape, jerks with M-16s or debris.

3. Technology is great but there is always something better around the corner. And someone else will have it before you. Damn you Dr. Wiley!

4. Almost anything sparkly and glowing is good for you. Pick it up. Don't tell anyone about it.

5. You'll never win if you do things the same as everyone else. Your going to have to stray from the norm and change your lines. And it will be bumpy, because those bastards don't have to move for you. But if they hit you you're screwed.

6. If everyone else is doing it chances are it's okay for you too. That applies to speeding on the highway, not correcting the change from the teller, traveling underneath the map and tapping X and A twice to pick up guns without stopping.

7. You'll never have enough money. If you do, that will probably mean what you want is available and you need to come back in the morning or at some special midnight event.

8. You can't count on anyone but yourself because your friends will always, at one time or another, get kidnapped, steal, cheat or lie and get you into trouble. But you'll save them in the end because that's what friends do. Even that stupid princess.

9. When things are going good, that's when you worry. Don't get too comfortable with your surroundings. There will always be an accident or money issue in your life. Whether or not it will involve ninjas or robots is never always up to you.

10. You can accomplish anything if you try hard enough. Whether it's studying to get that degree, solving a logic problem, or jumping from floating moving platforms while dodging flying turtles and slow-moving anti-tank ordnance.