Desire to Rot

I have, within me, this burning urge to sit in front of a PC (especially since we are getting a new box) and play some sort of MMORPG. I feel like there is a void in my gaming life that just needs to be filled.

It started with Netflix. The library of anime on Netflix is huge and having never been able to go to a video store and rent anything from the stacks, the old, unpopular, cult-ish movies, Netflix, in a way, opened up "porn".

I rented a wild one called .hack. An anime about The World, an MMORPG. I watched the entire series of disks and found it geekily enthralling. Know, I know that in real life, an MMORPG won't be as cool as a scripted universe on a DVD. But I need that World of Warcraft experience. There is just one problem though...

Now, right away, I know that as soon as I connected the first time I would be disappointed. It's the game's own nature that causes pause. The safety of any game relies in its closed structure. In Halo, a computer is not going to know it can sneek up behind you and ridicule you with a bash over the back of the head. It won't seek revenge. It won't glitch and climb halfway up a level's boundry mountain and snipe you. Real people. That's the problem.

WoW is a tempting offer. It's hugely popular and for good reason. I'm not really digging the monetary access, and that brings up quite a few more options.

Then I remember my DS. I remember Settlers of Catan (and now Seafarers of Catan). Metroid Prime 2, Advance Wars 2, and Killer 7...games that sit in wait for me to explore and conquer. Games that I am still very interested in. Games that are, in no fault of there own, too good to be split up and played in peices. I want to experience each one in full.

So what is this desire to keep buying new games? Do I need to quit reading about games online at work? Do I have gamer A.D.H.D.? Are my eyes seeing more than my body can stand to sit for? When will I just be satisfied?

I think the answer is never. As long as I keep wasting time fixing things in the house, riding motorcycles, spending time with Nicole, buying groceries and sleeping, I'll never be able to fully enjoy games. They are my beach. They are my books. Dance Dance Revolution is the only game I feel comforatable spending as much time with as my body can stand.

So really the only thing holding me back from these MMORPG games is myself. My own unwillingness to shut off my life and enjoy a digital one. I am torn though. I will probably still buy EVEOnline or World of Warcraft. I'm just going to have to try it and finally quench this thirst and appologize to Nicole a few weeks later.